Four months. Four months ago, we turned our [station] wagon westward. 1500 miles later, we arrived in H-town ready for adventures. Sometimes, it seems like we've been here for much longer than four months. The memory of the four day drive with three vehicles, two kids, and one dog has faded (or perhaps it has been repressed). As I reflect on these first four months, I started to compile a list of what I've learned in my brief time as a Texan. My observations are as follows:
1. Armadillos, I don't believe they exist (cue Princess Bride footage). In my four months as a Texas resident (and many years of visiting the state prior to living here), I have never seen a living armadillo. Sure, I've seen dead ones on the side of the road, but I'm pretty sure TxDOT places them on the roads overnight to perpetuate the myth of these prehistoric tank-like mammals.
2. East Texas is to Texas as West Virginia is to Virginia. Yes, I realize that's not a perfect analogy. The logic games on the LSAT were not my strongest section. But, ask any Virginian, and they will understand what this means.
3. While on the topic of Virginia -- as a Virginian, I'm now a "northerner." It doesn't matter how well I incorporate y'all into daily conversation, that I pronounce sherbert with an "r," or that I liked pimento cheese way before it was trendy. I might as well be from New York.
4. If you are a woman, it is basically impossible for a man to ever get off the elevator before you. It's also pretty much impossible for you to open a door for yourself. I'm totally fine with both of these traditions. Chivalry is not dead. Initially, this caused some awkward elevator exiting scenarios. But four months later, if a man doesn't let me off the elevator first, I judge him.
5. I will never put away my summer clothes. Ever. I no longer have a summer wardrobe and a winter wardrobe. I just have a wardrobe. There are weeks when I'm in a tee shirt one day and a sweater and coat the next.
6. The lack of true seasons can be awesome (see number 5 above), but this also means that I am bitten by mosquitoes year round. I keep OFF in my car at all times. The higher the Deet content the better.
7. An F-150 may be considered a "compact car" and as such may park in the compact spots of my parking garage requiring me to make 12 point turns to get out of my parking space to avoid hitting the massive truck bed.
8. Wild hogs are really bad. I've had what seems to be a disproportionate number of conversations about wild hogs since my arrival here despite living in the fourth largest city in the U.S.
9. Just because a neighborhood looks scary, doesn't mean that it's dangerous. The total lack of zoning in Houston often means you will have an upscale shopping center next to a bail bondsman, a prepaid cellphone store, and a check cashing store. You will know when you are in a really bad part of town. Trust me (see prior blog post about my fingerprinting adventure).
10. The driver's education requirements in Texas clearly do not cover the usage of a turn-signal.
11. When I don't know how to pronounce the name of a town in Texas, I just ask myself, "How would Coach Taylor pronounce it." If I pronounce it as he would, I'm usually correct about 97% of the time.
So there you have it -- a brief list of a few things that I've learned since becoming Texan. I'm sure I'll learn much more as time goes on. Lyle had it right when he sang the song that inspired this blog's name. Just because you're not from Texas, that doesn't mean that you can't fit in here. Texans are friendly folks who are only too excited to welcome you and tell you how great their state is. So, no, I'm not from Texas. But, I like to think that Texas wants me anyway. And, in the words of Tim Riggins, "Here's to God and football and... good friends livin' large in Texas. Texas forever."
No comments:
Post a Comment