Burgers 101

Bernie's Burger Bus
5407 Bellaire Blvd, Houston

I'm a reformed vegetarian who loves burgers -- preferably medium rare with a slice of Vermont cheddar or other artisanal cheese. I'm a mustard not mayo kind of gal. Hot sauce or jalapenos are welcome as is guacamole or maybe even a fried egg. Bacon is always appropriate. Living in DC, I was surrounded by fancy burgers (my favorite being the au poivre burger from Ray's Hell Burger). Though Houston is a burger town (my well-worn copy of The Ultimate Food Lover's Guide to Houston lists over 20 burger-friendly restaurants excluding food trucks), we had yet to explore the burger scene. But, a rainy Sunday when the temperatures dipped into the 40s seemed like the perfect day to start.

For our first burger adventure, we selected Bernie's Burger Bus in Bellaire. Bernie's started as a food truck/bus business and opened a brick and mortar location in the summer of 2014. Bernie's has won many accolades in the four years it has been in business, including best french fries in Houston (Houston Press 2012) and Top 100 Restaurants by Alison Cook (Houston Chronicle 2012 and 2014). In 2012, Bernie's won the Best Burger and Best Food Truck in My Table's Houston Food Awards. So, this place has some serious chops. But, could the burgers stand up to all the favorable press? The answer, in a word, is YES.

Two Top/School Desk

Bernie's brick and mortar is located in a small strip mall off of Bellaire Avenue. The restaurant has a school theme that is brilliantly executed. Upon entering the restaurant, I immediately noticed the giant, yellow school bus towards the back of the space. That's the kitchen. My 4 year old just had to know, how did they get that bus in the building? Our waitress advised that they just pushed the bus inside the restaurant. The next thing I noticed were the adorable two tops situated around old school desks. A row of lockers stands against the back wall of the restaurant. It's super fun and creative decor without being over the top.

The menu.

The menu is made to look like a black and white composition book. It's the interior of this well written menu that really makes the school theme come alive. Each burger has a school themed name -- there's The Cheerleader (she's hot, featuring fried jalapenos and pepper jack cheese with slow roasted garlic tomatoes), there's The Firedrill (guacamole, salsa verde, and pepper jack cheese), and there's The Recess, which is billed as a break from burgers -- it's a grilled cheese. There are also smaller burgers such as the Preschoolers and the Kindergartners. Want to customize your burger further? Add an "Elective" -- burgundy mushrooms, tipsy onions, a fried egg, or chili to name a few. And, don't forget your extracurriculars -- the side dishes including the heavenly french fries.

The options are almost overwhelming. But, wait -- there are also specials. The "special" burger

Peppermint Milkshake -- a holiday special

during our visit included unicorn meat (that's pork and bacon) served with a slab of mac n' cheese on top. There are also milkshakes -- and special milkshakes. Since we happened to hit Bernie's a few days after Christmas, the special milkshakes included pumpkin, gingerbread, peppermint, and chocolate peppermint.

The Cheerleader

Hubby opted for the Cheerleader and I ordered the Preschoolers. I also had a Peppermint Milkshake because 'Tis the Season. The kids enjoyed Mac N' Cheese and some french fries. Hey, don't judge. Every so often, you "need" fries to go with your mac n' cheese. And, that night, I tried to force them eat vegetable soup to make up for their starchy lunch (I failed).

The burgers were perfect with great flavor. All the toppings and cheeses were fresh and tasty. The fries lived up to the hype, salty and crisp. Even the aioli served with the sweet potato fries was awesome. The buns had been well-buttered and the flavor of that butter

The Preschoolers

blended into the rich beef of the hamburger (hey, why not, I was already drinking a 1500 calorie milkshake). Yes, this was artery clogging goodness at its best. We have found our H-town burger home -- fabulous burgers, creative decor, and super friendly staff. Now, the challenge will be forcing ourselves to try other places, because nothing is going to compare to this.